I hope mine doesn't look like that
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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