Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize