Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
