ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
