guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
