i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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