just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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