If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize