C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
