Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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