So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize