They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My pussy is not your playground.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
