Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
