I bet he comes in French.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
