TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
