So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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