Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just cropdusted the office
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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