I just cut my nipple shaving
farters have to be the big spoon...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
