If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
