He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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