Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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