I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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