No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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