Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
