Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
