Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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