This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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