I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
