i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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