our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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