you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
