I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
