It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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