May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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