I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
