Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
the liver wants what the liver wants
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
