The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
