playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
