Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
