no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
