Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
