How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
