my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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