This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
