Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
