Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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