I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize