Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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