There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
