i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
