We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
