I'm jealous of your bromance
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
