do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
