you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bring me that man meat
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
