We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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