Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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