Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
